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I Demand the Right to Pack Chianti in My Carry-On

I Demand the Right to Pack Chianti in My Carry-On


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When is the TSA going to give up these stupid rules?

We all want to be safe when we fly, of course, and I don't think anybody objects these days to metal detectors (as much as we may rue the necessity for them) or prohibitions against carrying deadly weapons onboard. But many of the procedures we are required to go through if we want to get on an airplane these days are pretty obviously cosmetic (do those guys really think they're preventing another 9/11 when they pat down some granny in a wheelchair?) and annoying to just about everybody — not least to food-and-wine-loving travelers who can no longer stash a bottle of Spanish olive oil or Italian vino or some other liquid (or gel-like) culinary souvenir into their carry-ons. (Officials in Las Vegas confiscated a cupcake-in-a-jar because of its lethal-looking frosting; I once had a can of Cincinnati chili taken away because the agent who inspected it shook it and heard it sloshing and announced, "This is a liquid.")

Click here to see the 12 questions we want to ask the TSA Slideshow.

There is, in any case, no apparent logic or consistency to the rules that are enforced, and I simply don't believe that they would, for an instant, prevent any halfway intelligent would-be evil-doer from taking over another airplane. With that in mind, I'd like to pose these questions to the man in charge of the people who are supposedly keeping our airways safe — John Pistole (hey, is he allowed to fly with that moniker?), whose redundant-sounding title is Administrator of the Transportation Security Administration.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.


Gear: This carry-on bag keeps things compact

How do I love the Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag? Let me count the ways.

It cleverly compartmentalizes hanging clothes, electronics and other essentials for maximum access and minimum hassle going through airport security checkpoints.

The coolest feature is the big front zippered flap section for electronics, which flips out flat on the X-ray conveyor belt so you don’t have to unpack your devices for inspection. The flap has dedicated padded pockets for a laptop (up to 15 inches) and a tablet, with modular foam spacers to secure smaller laptops and mini tablets.

A roomy mesh pouch holds cables and the like, and includes a slim 4500 mAh rechargeable battery power pack for recharging on the go. Hanging clothes go in the middle zippered section, which has wrinkle-resisting fold-over flaps and compression straps, a top-notch metal hanger-securing mechanism, and two corner zippered mesh pockets for socks, etc.

That still leaves the big open main zippered section for the rest of your clothing. Did we mention the big zippered “magazine” pocket on the front of the bag, the zippered fold-out water-bottle holder on the side, the two padded grab handles and the zip-away retractable pull handle?

The ballistic nylon bag in black or gray is 22 by 14 by 9 inches, generally carry-on compatible. Sparrow Wheeled Garment Bag in black or gray costs $399.99.