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Criminal Mastermind Robs Bank with Dessert Spoon

Criminal Mastermind Robs Bank with Dessert Spoon

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A man tried to rob a Vienna bank with a dessert spoon in his pocket


A Vienna bank robber picked the least threatening piece of cutlery for his weapon.

A man in Vienna had what he thought was a clever way to make some spare cash this week when he decided to give bank robbery a try, but his first attempt ended in failure because his weapon of choice was a dessert spoon.

According to The Local, when faced with the entire world of cutlery to choose a bank-robbing weapon from, the 24-year-old would-be criminal chose a dessert spoon, probably the least threatening utensil a person could wield. Still, witnesses said he seemed confident when he entered the bank around 4 p.m. on Tuesday, walked straight up to a bank teller and demanded to be given money. Witnesses say the man seemed to think everyone see him holding a silver object and assume it was a knife and be afraid, but they say everyone could see it was just a spoon. A fork would have been more threatening.

A cashier told the robber that he was going to go get the money, but instead he called the police. The robber was reportedly sitting in the waiting area and relaxing when the police arrived to arrest him.

15 Times Old People Committed Shocking Crimes

Crime isn't just for the young and reckless anymore. As aging populations continue to grow in parts of Europe and Asia, so the does the rate of crime among the elderly. For instance, from 2003 to 2013

Crime isn't just for the young and reckless anymore. As aging populations continue to grow in parts of Europe and Asia, so the does the rate of crime among the elderly. For instance, from 2003 to 2013, the rate of crime committed by people over 65 more than doubled in Japan. To give you a clearer idea of what that looks like, retirees are responsible for more shoplifting incidents than teenagers.

So far, the United States appears to be avoiding this issue. Since the 1980s, the crime rate of people between the ages of 55 and 65 have decreased. Even though the number of geriatric inmates is on the rise, it's mainly due to longer sentences, particularly those tied to drug-related offenses. Having said that, the U.S. still has its fair share of golden year delinquents (you'll see in a second).

Most of the violations are petty, but some definitely cross over into first-class criminal status. Whether done out of greed, lust, or a craving for a popular dessert, grandmas and grandpas give all the young whipper-snappers a run for their money. And we've got 15 unbelievable crimes to prove it.

Teaming Up On Tour

Two years went by since their first meeting, but they would soon spend plenty of time together. Hill and McGraw were the headliners on a joint tour titled ‘Spontaneous Combustion’ in 1996. The stars, however, were still not aligned. McGraw’s relationship with Kristine Donahue seemed strong, but he called off their engagement. Unfortunately, this time, Faith was engaged to Scott Hendricks, a record producer. It seemed like it wouldn’t work out, but something changed on the first night of the tour.

Teaming Up On Tour


The dessert has eight components to it, including a brown butter mousse, honey feather tuiles, a roasted milk chocolate ganache, and a tonka-bean caramel.

There's also pear yuzu sorbet, a yogurt snow, a caramalised white chocolate crumble, and a chocolate coating.

Tough times: The dessert has eight components to it, including a brown butter mousse, honey feather tuiles, a roasted milk chocolate ganache, and a tonka-bean caramel

'I've gotta make sure every single flavour and texture goes perfectly well,' Reynold said on Tuesday.

Aspiring bakers will need to make sure that they have all the utensils and kitchenware required for the difficult dish, from an ice cream machine to a piping bag and a melon baller.

Due to the difficulty of the dish, Reynold had saved it for the final immunity challenge to wow the judges.

'I've gotta make sure every single flavour and texture goes perfectly well,' Reynold said on Tuesday's episode of MasterChef

'I'm so glad that there are no rules today. Today is the day that I can pull out my big guns,' he said on Tuesday's episode.

'There is one dish that I have in my mind that I really, really want to pull out in this kitchen. And it's time.

'I think if I can pull this off, this is definitely going to be the most beautiful dish I've ever put up.'

Golden balls: Due to the difficulty of the dish, Reynold saved it for the final immunity challenge to wow the judges

Reynold admitted that he'd 'saved the dish for this moment', while judge Melissa Leong called it a 'game changer'.

Despite the pressure of the challenge, Reynold managed to deliver the goods, leaving the show's judges awestruck by his creation.

'Wow, wow, wow!' was all judge Jock Zonfrillo could muster.

'I'm really happy with this. I'd say it's one of the most beautiful dishes that I've ever made, to date. And in the MasterChef kitchen, to actually pull this off, I'm really, really happy. I've been saving this one in the bank for a long time,' Reynold said.

'I think if I can pull this off, this is definitely going to be the most beautiful dish I've ever put up,' Reynold said

As the judges tasted his dish, they were blown away by both its beauty and the flavours.

'Technically, we don't even need to talk about it, but it is the hardest of hardest when we talk about technique in this very kitchen. He's absolutely nailed it,' said judge Andy Allen.

Meanwhile, Melissa labelled it 'triumphant', while Jock, 43, called it 'absolutely inspired cooking'.

'This dessert will go down in history as one of the best dishes ever, ever to be cooked in this kitchen,' judge Melissa Leong said after tasting the dessert

Unsurprisingly, Reynold won the immunity challenge, landing him the first spot in the show's final four.

'This dessert will go down in history as one of the best dishes ever, ever to be cooked in this kitchen,' Melissa, 38, told him.

Check out the painstaking 34-step recipe for Reynold's Golden Snitch below via 10 Play.

Reynold Poernomo's Golden Snitch dessert recipe

1. Preheat oven to 165C. Place 6 serving plates into the freezer.

2. For the Brown Butter Mousse, place butter and milk powder into a saucepan and stir over medium heat to dissolve. Cook until golden and brown specks appear. Pass through a fine sieve and set brown butter aside.

3. Place 180g cream, vanilla pod and seeds, white chocolate, 30g brown butter and drained gelatine into a saucepan over low heat. Stir gently until gelatine has dissolved. Remove from the heat and season with salt.

4. Allow to cool then remove vanilla pod. Using a stick blender, blend in remaining 180g cold cream. Transfer to a large tray and set aside in the fridge to set, approximately 20-25 minutes.

5. Transfer to the bowl of a stand mixer and whisk mousse until light and fluffy. Transfer to a piping bag.

6. Pipe mousse into 5cm round silicon dome moulds and level the surface to remove excess. Place into the freezer for 15 minutes.

7. Using hot water and a 2cm round melon baller, scoop the centres out and return domes to the freezer.

8. For the Tonka Bean Caramel, 105g glucose syrup and sugar into a saucepan and cook until dark golden in colour.

9. Meanwhile combine cream, grated tonka bean, 50g milk and 50g glucose into a saucepan and bring to a simmer.

10. Carefully whisk in hot cream, then butter and season with salt. Remove from heat and allow to cool completely.

11. Once cool, whisk in remaining 50g milk then transfer to a piping bag.

12. Pipe into the cavities of the brown butter mousse domes until just below the surface and freeze until completely solid.

13. For the Honey Feather Tuille, combine honey, brown sugar and butter in a small saucepan and gently heat until fully melted through.

14. Whisk in flour, then egg whites and whisk until smooth. Transfer to the fridge to chill and firm.

15. Spread mixture onto large and small feather silicon moulds and bake for 8-10 minutes. Alternatively, create a template by cutting out and discarding feather shapes from a sheet of acetate. Place template onto a silicon mat and spread tuille mixture over template as thinly as possible. Remove the template and bake as above.

16. Remove from the oven and as the tuilles start to cool, gently peel away the tuille from the mould or silicon mat and gently fold lengthways into feather shapes. A veined mould or a small paring knife can be used on the soft warm tuilles to create a pattern over the tuilles before shaping if required. Set aside to cool and harden.

17. Brush with gold lustre and store in airtight container.

18. For the Roasted Milk Chocolate Ganache, place chocolate onto a lined tray and bake until roasted, about 20 minutes. Remove from oven and set aside.

19. Place cream, milk, roasted chocolate and gelatine into a small saucepan over low heat, without boiling, until gelatine has melted. Using a stick blender, process to combine. Pass through in a sieve and transfer to a piping bag.

20. For the Chocolate Coating, place chocolate and cocoa butter into the bowl and set over a saucepan of simmering water. Allow to melt and reach 45-48C. Pour into the canister of a stick blender.

21. To assemble, remove the mousse domes from the freezer and join together to make 6 spheres. Smooth the seam with a clean finger.

22. Pierce each sphere with a skewer and dip into the chocolate coating until fully coated.

23. Remove the skewer and seal the hole with a warmed palette knife or your thumb.

24. Place dipped spheres onto a silicon mat, ensuring they can’t roll.

25. Transfer the remaining chocolate coating into a spray gun and spray the spheres until evenly coated and velvety in appearance. Place into the fridge to set for 5-10 minutes.

26. Once set, using gloves hold each sphere and gently brush with gold lustre. Set aside in the fridge.

27. For the Pear Yuzu Sorbet, place ingredients into a blender and process until combined. Transfer to an ice cream machine and churn until firm. Place into the freezer until required.

28. For the Yoghurt Snow, place milk and gelatine into a small saucepan and heat over low heat, without boiling, until gelatine has dissolved.

29. Place into a blender along with remaining ingredients and process until combined. Pass through a sieve into a siphon gun and charge twice with cream chargers, shaking well between charges.

30. Siphon the foam into a deep bowl of liquid nitrogen and crush with a slotted spoon to a fine snow. Remove snow and place onto a lined tray. Set aside in freezer.

31. For the Caramelised White Chocolate Crumble, place white chocolate into a glass bowl and microwave until a burn spot appears, then stir gently to melt.

32. Add maltodextrin and whisk until a fine powder is formed. Transfer to freezer for 5 minutes.

33. Combine with the Yoghurt Snow and reserve in the freezer.

34. To serve, place a scoop of sorbet into the centre of each cold serving plate and create a well in the centre. Top each with a golden sphere. Pipe Roasted Milk Chocolate Ganache onto the ends of the Feather Tuilles and attach 2 large and 2 small feathers either side of the spheres. Spoon Caramelised White Chocolate Crumble and Yoghurt Snow around spheres and serve immediately.

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Better known as Cuban Harry, the Hialeah-raised hip-hop artist has a round face, heavily tattooed arms, and long dark hair in tight braids. In the car with him are two Young Money rappers, HoodyBaby and Gudda Gudda, who look on in shock as a panicked Garcia is thrown to the ground and cuffed.

Back at the house, the SWAT team uses Garcia's keys to unlock the tall white gate and get inside. They toss a smoke bomb on the tile floor, startling two stocky gray dogs, and then sweep the place room by room, rifling through drawers, slashing mattresses open, and hurtling everything into the hallway.

The search goes on for five hours. In the end, the feds leave with a loaded FN semiautomatic pistol, a Glock, a bag packed with two pounds of marijuana, jars filled with higher-potency pot, a digital scale, a Porsche Panamera, and a Polaris Slingshot roadster.

But they weren't looking only for weed, or even cocaine or heroin, in the October 18 raid. They'd plotted this massive operation in large part to find cough syrup.

Mixed with soda and served on ice, the prescription-strength medication becomes "purple drank," "lean," or "sizzurp," a potent and addictive concoction that's long been the drink of choice for hip-hop stars. The woozy cocktail &mdash often sipped in double-stacked Styrofoam cups, sometimes with a Jolly Rancher at the bottom &mdash has become as quintessential a hip-hop status symbol as gold chains, fast cars, and stacks of cash. It has also killed more than one high-profile act.

Garcia, who built a following by palling around with music industry giants Lil Wayne and Chris Brown, built his persona around syrup. Photo after photo on his 40,000-follower Instagram page with the handle "muhammad_a_lean" showed bottles of the stuff lined up on the kitchen counter, packed into crates, and spread out on the floor.

By the time the raid ended, the feds had turned up just one bottle. But Garcia would soon be charged with using social media to sell mass quantities of lean, along with Xanax and marijuana. State prosecutors later added a racketeering charge, claiming he masterminded a burglary ring that had snatched thousands of dollars' worth of cough syrup from dozens of pharmacies.

Garcia's charges &mdash which carry a mandatory minimum of 30 years behind bars &mdash have sparked worldwide headlines thanks to his two most famous friends, Weezy and Breezy, who are listed as witnesses and remain under investigation by the feds. Convinced Garcia snitched to law enforcement, many of his influential friends have abandoned him, while angry fans have sent death threats.

But friends and family of the Miami musician, speaking for the first time about the case, insist Garcia's only crime was getting caught up in the high-rolling culture of hip-hop. Garcia was addicted to cough syrup, they say, but was just a pawn in investigators' overzealous quest to take down big-name rappers.

"My son probably smokes, drinks the syrup. I know that," his mother says in careful English. "But he's not the guy they say he is. He is a good boy, good son, good father."

Law enforcement agents tell a different story. They say Garcia is a dangerous criminal who made his connections in the music world by dealing drugs, operated the Westchester home as a trap house, armed himself with a small arsenal of guns, and cornered South Florida's lucrative cough syrup market, counting celebrities among his clients.

"Mr. Garcia was definitely a very prominent mover," says Tony Salisbury, a deputy special agent in charge of gang units for Homeland Security investigations. "He was one of the largest dealers that we've encountered."

The story of Garcia's rise from Cuban refugee child to figure on the highest rung of the hip-hop industry &mdash and his downfall to convicted drug dealer facing a potential life sentence &mdash opens a window into the outsize role cough syrup plays in Southern hip-hop culture, the black market that feeds it, and the epic fallout that can follow the drug.

Up-and-coming Miami rapper Fat Nick leans back in the bathtub, frothy water pooling around his considerable belly. His blond dreadlocks are tied in a haphazard bun, and a chain with the letters "YRH" &mdash short for "young, rich, and handsome" &mdash dangles from his neck. He cradles a bowl of crème brûlée in one hand and uses a spoon in the other to gesture toward two baby bottles of purple liquid sitting on the edge of the tub.

"I got some syrup," he boasts in the video, posted to his Twitter account last month, the words garbled by his diamond-encrusted grill. "Baby, come join me, baby &mdash young, rich, and handsome lifestyle. Look at my chain! Look at the diamonds in my teeth!"

Fat Nick may be Miami's loudest and proudest syrup sipper, but the drug is everywhere in hip-hop culture. Everyone from Justin Bieber to Future to DJ Khaled has name-dropped lean in their lyrics, and the drug reportedly caused the series of seizures that put Lil Wayne in the ICU for six days in 2013. Promethazine codeine is hard to get and usually comes at a steep cost, so boasting about it on social media earns instant street cred. Hashtags such as #codeinecrazy, #doublecups, and #siplean have thousands of posts apiece.

The unlikely relationship between cough syrup and rap traces its roots to 1960s Houston, where blues musicians began pouring Robitussin into their beers, according to author Lance Scott Walker, who has written two books about the city's hip-hop culture. The recipe evolved over time &mdash beer was replaced by wine coolers when they hit the market in the '80s, for instance &mdash but the biggest change came with the Food and Drug Administration's approval of cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine.

Codeine, an opioid, suppresses coughing. Promethazine, an antihistamine, treats other cold symptoms, like sneezing and watery eyes, and acts as a sedative. The combination, sanctioned by the FDA in 1984, was far more potent than Robitussin. Houston's sippers soon made the switch, savoring the sweet taste and mellowed-out feeling.

"It's like liquid heroin," says Ronald J. Peters, a retired associate professor at the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston who has studied the use of prescription cough syrup. "And my research found that most people that drink it once said they were addicted from the first time."

Sizzurp, later mostly made with soda instead of beer, became part of life in Houston &mdash especially for the city's hip-hop artists, who came up in the same neighborhoods as the blues musicians. The cough syrup phenomenon, which Peters calls "an epidemic," for decades was mostly contained to Houston, until one of those hip-hop musicians blew up.

DJ Screw's music sounded the way drinking lean felt. It was slowed down, like playing a 45 record at 33 rpm, and cut with beats and scratches. Like so many other Houston musicians, the DJ (real name: Robert Earl Davis Jr.) constantly had a codeine cocktail in hand, and his music often referenced it. By the '90s, his "chopped and screwed" style went national.

"His sound was unlike anyone else's," Walker says. "He had a different swing, and the rappers that free-styled on his tapes became superstars."

As DJ Screw's style became influential beyond Houston, so too did his drug of choice. In February 2000, a Three 6 Mafia song, "Sippin' on Some Syrup," peaked at number 30 on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart, taking drank to new heights. Eight months later, DJ Screw was found dead on the bathroom floor of his Houston recording studio. He was 29 years old. A medical examiner listed the cause of death as an overdose of codeine, along with marijuana and alcohol.

Screw was mourned as a visionary, but his demise didn't slow the spread of the substance that had caused it. Nor did the 2007 codeine-related deaths of Texas rappers Pimp C, who was featured on "Sippin' on Some Syrup," and Big Moe, whose first album dubbed Houston the "City of Syrup."

The drug's reach today is hard to quantify. It's not tracked by any one agency, and both local and federal officials say it is considered a lower priority than other prescription medications that have ravaged America in recent years, such as fentanyl and oxycodone. Miami-based Homeland Security agents say they don't have figures: "If we don't see it, we don't know how much is there," spokesman Nestor Yglesias says.

But in 2011, the most recent year for which data is available, more than 11,000 emergency room visits were attributed to nonmedical syrup use, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. That year, the National Drug Intelligence Center put out an alert about increased use of the substance, warning about addiction and a limited number of overdose deaths. Experts say side effects include constipation, dental decay, urinary tract infections, insomnia, weight gain, and difficulty standing (which explains the nickname "lean").

"This isn't like the Nyquil you're taking at home," says Salisbury, the Homeland Security agent. "This is really potent stuff."

Despite the pitfalls, many have found the highly addictive drink difficult to put down. Going without it, Lil Wayne told MTV News in 2008, "feels like death in your stomach." He added, "Everybody wants me to stop all this and all that. It ain't that easy."

As more music came out name-checking codeine, a new generation of hip-hop hopefuls started sipping &mdash including some of Miami's most talked-about new rappers. Fat Nick, part of a wild cast of so-called SoundCloud rappers who've built their fan bases online, was one of them. The high-school-dropout-turned-drug-dealer-turned-rapper regularly racks up millions of listens on SoundCloud and has nearly 130,000 followers on Twitter. Last year, he released an album called When the Lean Runs Out, on which he rapped, "Drowning in drink, can you hear me?"

But Fat Nick's ties to lean would soon be overshadowed by another aspiring Miami musician: Harrison Garcia, who had long idolized rappers like Lil Wayne and dreamed of one day finding his place alongside them.

For Cuban kids growing up in Hialeah, listening to traditional music from the island meant inviting harassment from classmates. "If you listened to Cuban music, you were considered a 'ref,'?" says Dania Jimenez, a longtime friend of Garcia's who in 2015 became his godsister through a Santería ritual. "A refugee. People would make fun of you."

So Garcia, like almost every other student at Miami Springs Middle, instead obsessed over rap: Tupac, Biggie, Lil Wayne. He would come home from school and turn it up &mdash loud.

"Sometimes he would drive me crazy," his dad says in Spanish, shaking his head. "Too much of a difference in age. I don't like the music."

Garcia, whom the Federal Detention Center in downtown Miami declined to make available for an interview, was raised worlds away from the kind of fame and glitz with which he'd later be associated. At 4 years old in 1994, he began the journey from Cuba to the States in a duffle bag. He and his parents, who asked not to be named due to threats from fans, were detained at the U.S. naval base in Guantánamo Bay, in a tent city that swelled with thousands of Cuban and Haitian refugees. When they finally made it to Miami, Garcia's parents carved out a modest life with working-class jobs at Pizza Hut and Macy's. They moved into a house with a crucifix above the door in a quiet Hialeah neighborhood, where they raised Harrison and his younger sister.

As a child, Harrison was inventive and affable. His parents say he worried about classmates whose parents struggled to make ends meet, and often tried to bring just about the entire school over for dinner. He quickly became accustomed to life in America, relishing McDonald's, his PlayStation, and football on TV. When he was around 14, he discovered another interest: making his own beats. He'd spend hours on his computer experimenting and show off his work to his friends.

"He always said that he was going to make it in music," Jimenez recalls. "He would always say, 'I'm going to make it,' and 'You'll see.'"

Garcia grew up to become a "big kid" prone to pulling pranks. Once, when Jimenez was desperate for apple juice, he and some friends, fighting laughter, peed into a bottle and took it to her. She laughs at the memory, insisting he would've never let her actually drink it. He'd get someone's attention just so he could respond with "Derp, derp!" He persuaded Jimenez to buy a three-wheeled Polaris Slingshot and gleefully zoomed down the streets in it, the music blaring and his eyes shielded by a pair of Gucci goggles.

Beneath all the showboating, those close to him insist, Garcia was a family guy. By his mid-20s, he'd fathered three sons with two women. He doted on the kids, his family says, and his dog Moonrock. After having a nightmare a couple of years ago that his mom had died, he insisted she go to the doctor for a full physical just to be sure she was OK.

For two years after graduating from Miami Springs High, Garcia had attended classes at Miami Dade College, where he studied radiology. But he soon decided college wasn't for him and took a job at UPS, making beats on his laptop around his work schedule. He picked up a lean habit along the way, carrying around Styrofoam cups of cough syrup mixed with cream soda. Jimenez says she was taken aback when she saw him drink cough syrup with eggs and bacon at 8 o'clock in the morning.

"It's a rap thing," she says by way of explanation.

Musically, things began falling into place for Garcia when he linked up with a Miami group called In2Deep. Through that crew, Jimenez says, he met HoodyBaby, whose real name is Omololu Omari Akinlolu. Sometimes mistaken for his better-known friends' bodyguard, the Houston native is a musician himself who became close with Chris Brown after the two met on a basketball court as teenagers. In 2015, he signed to Lil Wayne's label, Young Money Entertainment. When Garcia and HoodyBaby crossed paths around 2010, they struck up a fast friendship, Jimemez says. Garcia quickly won over people in HoodyBaby's circle and, before long, found himself joining the entourages of hip-hop's elite and selling his beats to big-name acts.

It's tough to verify Jimenez's claims about Garcia's musical ties to the artists. Neither HoodyBaby nor Gudda Gudda responded to requests for comment, and Garcia's name doesn't seem to appear in any song credits.

But it's indisputable that he became part of both Brown's and Lil Wayne's crews. Garcia mugged for photos with Brown, and when Brown was filmed arguing with security guards who tried to kick his friends out of a celebrity basketball game last September at the University of Southern California, Garcia was in the group. He also got face time in music videos for songs such as 2015's "Finessin," by Young Money artist Baby E. featuring Lil Wayne, and in last year's "Cut It Freestyle" by HoodyBaby.

"Look, Mami! Look!" his mother remembers him saying, pulling up the videos to show her.

As Garcia's visibility increased, so did his Instagram followers by last summer, he'd amassed 36,000. His photos portrayed a high-rolling, gangster-esque lifestyle: guns, designer duds, weed, diamond-covered grills and chains. In one post, he spelled out the word "broke" in bills. In another, he flashed his tats of Scarface brandishing an assault rifle and Richie Rich laundering money in a washing machine. And in a third, he posed beside six bottles of prescription cough syrup.

Jimenez thought he should lay off posting pictures of drugs. "How many times did we fight about that?" she says. "And he's like, 'Well, what the fuck, how many people are posting on social media? Why are they going to come and target me?'"

But drugs repeatedly got Garcia in trouble. Between 2011 and 2015, he was arrested six times for drug-related offenses. The most serious came in 2013, when he was charged with possession of marijuana and cocaine with intent to distribute. Adjudication was withheld in that case, and the judge sentenced Garcia to probation.

Despite his legal problems, things kept looking up for Garcia. Last year, he and Jimenez launched an exotic-car rental company, banking on reeling in customers through Garcia's social media clout. He filed paperwork with the state for A-1 Exotic Car Rentals, and a friend who couldn't make payments on her Porsche loaned the luxury car out.

Last summer, Jimenez says, Garcia called her with his biggest news yet: He'd been asked to accompany Chris Brown on an international tour. For a moment, the line was silent as the magnitude of the invite sank in. Then Garcia spoke up again: "I'm really going to make it with these people," he said.

Days later, he was photographed beside the rapper on an airport runway in Albania and then on his private plane. By last summer, Jimenez says, Garcia had moved into a condo on the beach with HoodyBaby.

"Being out of Hialeah and making it where he was making it, it was amazing," she says. "He really was going places."

Hours before dawn on a warm spring morning, three men in hooded sweatshirts hurried to the locked front door of a Walgreens in Pembroke Pines. One of them, his hands covered with white socks, used a large yellow crowbar to pry open the door, and the trio slipped inside.

The men rushed through the silent store, smashed a glass case packed with prescription medicine, and pulled out more than a thousand oxycodone pills and a pint of promethazine codeine cough syrup. Within two minutes of the April 16, 2016 break-in, the three had disappeared with nearly $3,000 in stolen drugs.

It was the same MO employed in dozens of burglaries at CVS, Walgreens, Target, and Navarro pharmacies across South Florida. But this time, Pembroke Pines Police were onto the thieves who had eluded law enforcement for almost a year: The Florida Department of Law Enforcement had placed tracking devices on scores of cough syrup bottles, including the one grabbed at the Pines Walgreens.

Within a month, prosecutors had filed racketeering charges against a ragtag group they believed was led by a 24-year-old aspiring South Florida rapper and felon named Darrish Bernard Martin, who went by "Young Bernie" when he uploaded videos to his 5,000 or so Facebook fans.

But Young Bernie's phone calls from jail would soon convince investigators that they'd missed the real mastermind behind the ring: "It now appears," a Broward Sheriff's Office detective wrote in a December charging document, "that [Harrison] Garcia primarily orchestrated, controlled, and profited from the commission of these crimes."

The cops' path to taking down Cuban Harry started July 23, 2015, when the first pharmacy break-in was reported at a CVS in Hollywood. The thefts came at a fast clip after that, with the perps sometimes hitting two or even three drugstores in one night. A few details were the same in each heist: It was always two to four men, they always ran directly to the pharmacy, and they always used a yellow crowbar.

Their motivation seemed clear. On the streets, cough syrup can command as much as $4,000 a pint for the Wockhardt brand, which is the variety "reserved for the Lil Wayne types," says Salisbury, the Homeland Security agent. "It's very lucrative."

A patchwork of agencies began trying to crack the burglary ring in the summer of 2015. Around the same time, federal investigators were turning their attention toward Garcia. They had discovered his Instagram account, clicked through the images of guns and drugs, and concluded he was "bragging about his life as 'the plug': a drug dealer."

Months would pass before the two cases dovetailed, but the pharmacy burglary scheme was the first to unravel. In April 2016, the tracking devices on stolen cough syrup bottles led cops to a Buick Regal in Miami Gardens. Inside was a clear sign investigators had made a break: a yellow crowbar. Authorities connected the car to Martin, whose social media accounts showed pictures of him beside bottles of cough syrup with the same serial numbers as the ones stolen from the Pembroke Pines Walgreens.

Martin and the other alleged drugstore bandits, Bryan Pitter and Alonzo Hinson, were arrested May 10. Pitter blamed Martin, telling investigators the young rapper had organized the burglaries and paid participants $800 for each hit. Authorities deemed Martin the ringleader.

But last June, a Broward Sheriff's detective began listening to recordings of calls Martin made from jail in which he allegedly directed his girlfriend Chantelle Ponce and her little brother Raul to continue the pharmacy break-ins. On one May 2016 call, Martin and Chantelle Ponce discussed selling Percocet. Another man was on the line, but authorities didn't know his identity.

The feds, meanwhile, were closing in on Garcia. A few months after Martin, Pitter, and Hinson were arrested, agents set up two drug buys from Garcia, one of them at a Taco Bell. Agents watched as he left the house on NW 29th Street and exchanged two pints of codeine promethazine cough syrup and marijuana for $2,630 cash. Later, they searched a trash bin near the home and found discarded cough syrup bottles. They obtained a warrant to search his direct messages on Instagram, finding what they say was a trove of messages about the sale of cough syrup and other narcotics.

That evidence allowed them to set up the October 18 raid, shortly after Garcia returned from touring with Brown. Jimenez's roommate Norelys Garcia (no relation to Harrison) and her boyfriend were the only ones home when the feds entered the house with their faces covered and guns drawn.

"All of the sudden we hear, like, a bomb go off," she says, adding that one of her first panicked thoughts was someone must have robbed a bank. "I see a lot of smoke. I see guns. Then they told us to get on the floor."

Over the next five hours, she says, she went from being terrified to annoyed as the house was torn apart and the feds ate all of her Halloween candy. She claims she watched agents ask HoodyBaby and Gudda Gudda for their autographs. She also alleges she overheard Garcia ask for a lawyer, only to be told the two dogs would be shot if he didn't cooperate. Because of that, his lawyers dispute investigators' contention that Garcia confessed to the crime and called Jimenez's house "the trap."

The next day, Garcia was charged with five felonies in federal court, including possession with intent to distribute narcotics, maintaining drug-involved premises, and possession of a firearm in furtherance of a drug crime. The last charge came because of the guns in the house and in the Suburban when he was pulled over, as well as all the weapons he'd photographed on Instagram. Jimenez was listed as an unindicted co-conspirator the feds claim Garcia paid her so he could run the drug operation out of her house.

Things were about to get worse for Cuban Harry. Shortly after her October arrest, Chantelle Ponce told investigators from FDLE and the Broward Sheriff's Office that Garcia was behind all the pharmacy thefts. He was also the mystery man on the phone, investigators concluded.

"Ponce stated that Harrison Garcia would pay Martin $7,000 per burglary," Garcia's state-level arrest report says.

Records from Garcia's phone showed text messages with photos of cough syrup exchanged between Martin, Raul Ponce, and Garcia dating back to April 2016, the cops say. It's not clear how the men knew each other. Ponce told authorities that Garcia and Martin met in 2015. Jimenez claims Garcia knew the group and bought syrup from them, but only for his own personal use. His alleged role in the ring landed him a felony count of conspiracy to engage in racketeering activity, filed in December by the Office of Statewide Prosecution.

Four months later, Garcia's federal trial began. On the stand, Homeland Security Investigations Agent Kevin Selent broke the news that the feds were investigating Lil Wayne and Chris Brown, adding that Garcia had confessed to selling Lil Wayne "a lot of narcotics." When pressed, the agent refused to explain further, saying the case remained under investigation. An explosion of headlines followed in outlets from Spin to Jezebel to Breitbart to XXL.

Prosecutors produced a screenshot of a text message from a Louisiana number asking for "sum good." Garcia allegedly sent the image to a friend, writing, "Wayne just hit me," and then adding, "Don't show that phone # to nobody."

Also presented at the federal trial: a screenshot of a $15,000 deposit purportedly from Chris Brown. Garcia sent that image to a friend, writing, "Look who just put money in my account." When the friend asked what it was for, Garcia responded, "Drugs. Lean and shit," along with a line of smiley faces. (Garcia's family and attorneys insist that there's no proof he snitched and that besides alienating him from his friends, the allegations have put his safety at risk.)

Over the five days of trial, lawyers for Garcia argued the guns, cash, and drugs from his Instagram account were just props in a bid to gain street cred as a rapper. "My client is a 27-year-old schmuck," attorney Gustavo Lage said. "He is a kid who talks big and is trying to be something he's not."

Jurors weren't convinced. On April 10, they convicted Garcia on all counts. They spent just four hours deliberating, but Judge Patricia A. Seitz noted they seemed "traumatized." Garcia's attorneys and his parents, who were in the courtroom, were stunned.

Prosecutors argued that Garcia didn't simply present a tough-guy persona online: He was the dangerous criminal behind a major trafficking operation. "It's clear he has reason to protect himself &mdash he's dealing drugs," Assistant U.S. Attorney Rilwan Adeduntan said during closing arguments.

Salisbury, of Homeland Security, tells New Times the agency believes Garcia was also involved in two shootings &mdash something Agent Selent testified to in trial. But the agency refused to offer any details on when or where and acknowledged no one was charged.

Though Garcia was a codeine fiend, Jimenez says the image prosecutors created in court &mdash of a big-time drug dealer with a luxurious lifestyle to go along with it &mdash was mostly a façade. Most of the items they seized weren't his, she claims.

"They made it seem like he's Pablo Escobar or El Chapo," she says. "No. The cars and all the property they took from him, none of it was his."

Standing outside the seafoam-green house where Harrison Garcia grew up, his mother clasps her hands as if in prayer and shakes them. With her open, friendly face and petite stature, she looks younger than her years, even though stress has stolen her sleep and siphoned off 20 pounds.

"I hope something good happens, because it's crazy, it's crazy," she says, shaking her head. "I hope."

Almost a year after the feds burst into the Westchester house, the aftershocks from that day continue to be felt. Just how far they'll go remains to be seen &mdash authorities have been tight-lipped about whether Lil Wayne or Chris Brown could face charges. At the same time, Garcia is still waiting to learn his fate. His federal sentencing &mdash at which he'll be sentenced to somewhere between three decades and life &mdash is scheduled for July 17 state prosecutors have yet to schedule a trial on their felony charge.

Some argue the sentence Garcia faces is far too steep. That's his parents' belief, of course: "My son killed nobody," his mother says. But they aren't alone.

Peters, the researcher, also questions the scale of Garcia's charges, saying the problem is bigger than one person. "The drugs that are used by minorities always are stratified in a way where they're penalized more," he adds.

Prosecutions over dealing cough syrup appear to be rare. But members of another cough syrup-selling ring, which dumped 97,000 pints of promethazine/codeine onto Houston streets in a four-year span, received no more than seven years behind bars. Lucita Uy and Lemuel Uy Libunao and the Houston dealers they delivered the drugs to &mdash Christopher Lamont Crawford and Kendra Patrice Manigault &mdash were all charged federally with money laundering, which does not carry the mandatory minimum sentence of using weapons in a drug-dealing crime. Only Lucita Uy remains behind bars her release date is set for next year.

Most of the South Florida cough syrup ring is still awaiting trial in state court. Two of the defendants, Chantelle Ponce and Bryan Pitter, have taken plea deals and agreed to work with the state.

The federal case is still considered open, but no one is really talking about it. A representative for Chris Brown did not respond to a request for comment about his relationship to Garcia. When a New Times reporter called the number listed in federal court records as Lil Wayne's cell, the man who answered said, "Man, please don't call my phone about nothing you asking about. I don't know nothing." Then he hung up.

It's the first time Homeland Security's Miami office has busted a lean dealer, Salisbury says: "We hope we've sent a message." Garcia's attorneys have filed an appeal in the federal case, arguing the court erred by allowing extensive social media evidence and testimony from Selent, among other things. They also argue prosecutors had little to prove the charge that Garcia possessed weapons in furtherance of a drug crime &mdash just Instagram pictures and the fact that drugs and guns were in the Chevy when it was pulled over the day of the raid. It was that charge that landed Garcia with the lengthy mandatory sentence.

"The government's case was based on hearsay and innuendo," the motion claims.

Garcia's parents are putting their hopes into the appeal. But in the meantime, they take their three grandchildren to the downtown detention center every Sunday. They've told the boys, who are all under the age of 5, that their dad is in school.

As for Jimenez, she says she's moved out of the house on 29th Street and poured money into Garcia's defense. Brushing back tears, she says she's given up something else: rap.

"I've kind of crossed everybody off my list," she says. "I don't listen to anything or anybody anymore."

Keep Miami New Times Free. Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

17 Random Statistics That Will Actually Surprise You

“You’re more likely to die driving to work than to be eaten by a shark!” We’re willing to bet you’ve heard this, like, a million times &mdash right?

People throw out random statements like that all the time, preaching them as truth. And it got us wondering: How many of these statistical musings are actually true? And which statistic will actually surprise us?

So we did a little research to get the real lowdown on the odds &mdash and we discovered some very interesting information.

Before we dive in, though, keep this in mind: A number of factors affect the real odds of something, especially your specific behavior. Someone who surfs everyday has a greater likelihood of being attacked by a shark than someone who never goes into the water, for instance.

OK, that being said, we rounded up some interesting general stats.

1. Odds of being called to &ldquoCome on down!&rdquo on The Price Is Right &mdash 1 in 36

One in 36? Not too shabby. Given the stats on becoming a billionaire or winning the lotto, which we cover later, this is pretty good news.

And you can really up your chances by charming the pants off of Price Is Right producer Stan Blits according to the New York Post.

2. Odds of being audited by the IRS &mdash 1 in 160

This number seems high, but don’t panic. This factors in all tax returns filed &mdash including those filed by billionaires and huge corporations. But if you are earning a middle-class income, you don’t have a whole lot to worry about.

“If you earn less than $200,000 annually and don&rsquot attach Schedules C or E to your tax return, statistically speaking, you have a better chance of being abducted by aliens or dating Taylor Swift than being audited,” says Forbes.

3. Odds of being involved in a drunk driving crash &mdash 2 out of 3

Two out of 3 people will be involved in a drunk-driving accident in their lifetime, according to MADD. Lower your risk by always designating a driver.

4. Odds of being born with 11 fingers or toes &mdash 1 in 500

This means that if you follow 1,000 people on Twitter, one or two of them were probably born with an extra appendage &mdash which is medically known as polydactyly.

5. Odds of winning an Oscar &mdash 1 in 11,500

Winning an Oscar isn’t as hard as we thought, actually! Keep in mind, though, your odds are zero if you don’t try. However, the odds of becoming a movie star are 1 in 1,190,000 according to William Morrow’s The Book of Odds. Not exactly encouraging.

6. Odds of finding a pearl in an oyster &mdash 1 in 12,000

Given how hard it is to shuck an oyster, we hardly think it&rsquos worth it.

7. Odds of being drafted by the NBA &mdash 1 in 3,333 for men, 1 in 5,000 for women

Don’t mean to put a damper on your dreams, but yikes.

8. Odds of going blind after laser eye surgery &mdash 1 in 5 million

According to London Vision Clinic, if you choose a good surgeon your chances of going blind are extremely slim.

9. Odds of being injured by a toilet &mdash 1 in 10,000

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a whole study about nonfatal bathroom injuries that’s definitely worth reading over.

10. Odds of dying in an airplane crash &mdash 1 in 205,552

Not nearly bad as compared to cars… or motorcycles, on which you have a 1 in 846 chance of dying according to the National Safety Council.

11. Odds of getting killed by fireworks &mdash 1 in 340,733

Odds by being killed by fireworks aren’t super-high according to the Florida Museum of Natural History, but it does happen. And as you can imagine, most of those deaths occur on the Fourth of July.

12. Odds of being struck by lightning &mdash 1 in 114,195

It’s true, there aren’t a whole lot of people who get struck by lightning according to the National Safety Council &mdash but it does happen. Just keep in mind that most people who are &ldquostruck&rdquo by lightning actually get hit from electricity traveling underground after the strike, so wear rubber-soled shoes and remember to crouch with your feet close together if a strike is possible.

13. Odds of becoming a billionaire &mdash pretty much none

Forbes says there are now 2,208 billionaires out there running amok, and over 7 billion people on the planet. You do the math.

14. Odds falling to your death &mdash 1 in 119

That’s a pretty alarming statistic from the National Safety Council, right? To fall and die?

15. Odds of getting attacked by a shark &mdash 1 in 3,748,067

Shark attacks get all kinds of media attention, but turns out they hardly ever happen according to the International Shark Attack File. You’re actually much more likely to die as a result of coming into contact with hornets, wasps or bees (1 in 54,093) than even being bitten by a shark according to the National Safety Council.

16. Odds of winning $1 million in the McDonald&rsquos Monopoly game &mdash 1 in 451,822,158

Um, yeah, according to research done by Canadian structural engineer Michael Ross, you’re gonna have to eat a whole lotta Mickey D’s to win that money.

17. Odds of winning the Powerball jackpot &mdash 1 in 292,000,000

At least you can reach for the stars and win an Oscar, right?

A version of this article was originally published in December 2013.


  • Air New Zealand Safety Videos: The Cop Show portion of "Safety in Hollywood" has Anna Faris and Rhys Darby as cops with "official police donuts".
  • An AFLAC commercial featured two cops describing AFLAC using an analogy with a donut.
  • Some years back, a local commercial in the Orlando market featured the then real-life Orange County Sheriff and several of his deputies chowing down at a particular 24-hour restaurant. The tag line had the good Sheriff pointing at the repast before him and exclaiming, "This is why cops don't eat donuts anymore!" (The spot was quickly pulled after protests that such a commercial endorsement by a law enforcement official was highly inappropriate.)
  • The Foundation For A Better Life's "Honesty" ad - where a boy appears to steal a purse, but in reality chases down its owner - in the extended version, the cops that he appeared to be running from offer the boy a donut when they see him give the purse back.
  • The infamous "Trunk Monkey" ads have one where the titular critter tries to bribe an officer away from giving a ticket to his owner, first with cash, then with a donut. It doesn't work.
  • A coffee commercial (can't remember the name) has one of the people praising the coffee be a cop who, after praising it, whispers that he doesn't like donuts.
  • A toy commercial for the Blue Senturion (a robotSuper Cop) from Power Rangers Turbo ends with him buying a donut and a cup of coffee.
  • Although technically not a Donut Shop, Glock featured an all-night-diner (which is basically the same thing to police officers) which some genius crook attempts to rob. only to find it filled to the brim with cops there for a convention. Did I forget to mention that they were all armed. with Glocks?
  • The English Gag Dub of Ghost Stories invokes this when the kids go to the police: "Drop the Krispy Kremes, Serpico!"
  • Koutarou Amon from Tokyo Ghoul has a major Sweet Tooth and loves donuts. In an omake, Juuzou brings him a box of donuts as a bribe.
  • In Death Note L (unsurprisingly) polishes off an entire box of donuts by himself. And in the live-action film adaptation, he creates a donut kebab by placing several on a skewer.
  • Sam and Twitch from Spawn also love donuts. Especially Sam. But, then again, he loves everything.
  • Harvey Bullock's love of doughnuts (see Western Animation examples below) carries over from his original appearances in the Batman comics.
  • Oddly enough Sergeant Slipper in The Beano can be seen having a donut doughnut.
  • Lampshaded in Ultimate Spider-Man. Peter is chasing Ultimate Carnage across the city, and we cut away to two cops walking away from a donut shop. Then Carnage lands in front of them and kills them before Peter can do anything.
  • In A Sirius Matter Sirius drove his motorcycle, which was charmed to be invisible to the police, at 200 MPH past a car containing "two overweight cops" who "continued munching on their donuts."
  • Revenge Is So Sweet:
  • The police car in Doug's 1st Movie has a vanity plate that says "DONUT-1"
  • All Dogs Go to Heaven 2: Charlie and David distract a large group of cops by announcing that a truck with fresh donuts has arrived outside the police station. Them being so gullible, and that they all left instead of just having a few of them go and get them for all of them, is another trope.
  • Wreck-It Ralph: In Sugar Rush, King Candy's top enforcers are a pair of cops, Wynchell and Duncan, who are respectively an éclair (or a long john) and a ring doughnut, and are named after twoknown donut chains.
  • Benjamin Clawhauser, ZPD's receptionist/dispatcher in Zootopia, eats so many donuts that his hands are always covered with sprinkles. He's first introduced eating one, comments on how he's the stereotypical fat donut-loving cop after a profiling faux pas, and then pulls out a donut from a fold of his neck when Judy points it out to him. Donuts aren't the only sugary things he constantly eats, though.
  • The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature: When Surly and Buddy try to get food from a donut shop, several cops go there because they're informed that the place is charging half the usual price for the donuts. Once the Mayor is arrested and Liberty Land is closed, one of the cops seizes a donut cart.
  • In an early scene in RoboCop 3, a rather pathetic hoodlum charges into a donut shop to hold the place up, and is suddenly covered in glowing red dots. He looks around in confusion and belatedly notices all the uniformed police officers/customers pointing their laser-sighted guns at him. This was even lampshaded by the clerk sarcastically commenting to the hood, "So what's it like being a rocket scientist?" Then the main plot kicks in, and they leave him just standing there, pleading "Isn't someone going to arrest me?"
  • In Mars Attacks!, cops are seen fleeing from a donut shop being blown up by Martians.
  • The Boondock Saints:
  • There's also a very quick "blink and you'll miss it" moment earlier on. When the cops are preparing to go on a manhunt for Scott and have the town mapped out, in the corner one of the key sections underlined is that of a donut shop.
  • A regional joke in New England revolves around the fact that Dunkin' Donuts (and we mean any Dunkin' Donuts) is the worst place to rob after a gun shop. A Starbucks, on the other hand, is a good target, since cops are mainly from working class backgrounds and hang out at DD, while Starbucks is seen as the place where college kids with lots of money and other snobs go. Ironically, most cops just get coffee these days and avoid the donuts.
  • A joke once detailed that when a Cop goes to Hell, he must make a decision: Bullets or Donuts.
  • There's also this joke:
  • Able Team. Carl Lyons is offered a box of jelly donuts while investigating a homicide. Then just as he's biting into one, the police show him the crime scene photos in the hope of grossing him out. Lyons is a former LAPD cop however, so takes it entirely in stride.
  • Rare British example: The Ankh-Morpork City Watch, in the Discworld novels. Captain Vimes has a doughnut at Harga's House of Ribs in Men at Arms (and describes the recipe in full, to express his annoyance at Harga's literal-minded response to his asking for coffee "black as midnight on a moonless night"). In Thud!, it's mentioned that Sergeant Colon and the ex-Watchmen who come in to chat with him get through a lot of doughnuts, but it's worth it for the information. In Night Watch it's mentioned that one of the reasons Ankh-Morpork-trained watchmen are held in such high regard is that they don't accept bribes, apart from the occasional free beer and doughnut. And in Unseen Academicals, one character refers to the Watch being annoyed about breaking up a riot because it would be keeping them from the doughnut shop. Of course, while Discworld is a British creation, it takes its tropes from everywhere.
    • But for the most part, Watch members prefer foreign takeout, partly because that's what usually comes with coffee in the setting, but this is a British trope: British Coppers working the night-shift often end up grabbing something to eat from a Chinese takeaway or a kebab shop because they're usually the last place on the high street to close for the night.
    • The A-Team: When Murdock and Face are captured, they bluff their kidnappers into choosing a Donut Café as a meeting point. Once inside, the two simply get up and walk out of the Café, calmly asking the Gangsters what they're gonna do, shoot them in front of all the Cops
    • The Australian comedy series The Late Show has this as a Running Gag in Bargearse (a Gag Dub of 70's cop show Bluey (1976)). The episode "Where's My Bloody Donuts?" has the overweight Detective Sgt. Bargearse investigating the theft of ten dozen jam donuts from his lunchbox.
    • When Gary (a cop) asks Phoebe out, he says, "Don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts." Chandler laughs, and everybody else stares, befuddled. Chan explains that it was a bizarre form of self-defense: "He has a gun!"
    • Chandler made his own donut joke when Phoebe first found Gary's badge. It got an awkward silence, and he quickly admitted he could do better and asked for a do-over.
    • The "Bad Cop, No Donut" (see Real Life) sign has been sign on Stabler's locker.
    • Although in season 10, Servo has a dirty cop refusing to stop at a Krispy Kreme so as not to "advance the stereotype."
    • In Experiment 618, "High School Big Shot" during the short ("Out Of This World", the one where good and evil vie for a breadman's soul) Mike makes a cop/doughnut joke.
      • Possibly a bit of Fridge Brilliance, as Mike didn't sign the original contract.
      • The season seven finale has Obstructive BureaucratJerkass Harris Trout bring in donuts for the team as they explain to him their mishap with their latest case,, only for Trout to throw the untouched donuts into the trash mid- story. Even Reasonable Authority Figure Chief Vick reacts in horror.
        • Though to be fair, Trout had just gone on for ages about wasteful spending, only to waste the donuts. One wonders if she wasn't objecting to the waste.
        • A cartoon from the National Enquirer depicts a police academy instructor pointing to a pull-down map.
        • Brad Paisley, in his song "Mr. Policeman," taunts the cop chasing him: "There's no way you're keeping up with me / Just go on back to Krispy Kreme."
        • Then there's the line from The Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian", quoted above. It might be the Trope Maker.
        • The "Smoked Pork" skit from Body Count's self titled album Body Count.
        • House of Pain's "Jump Around" features the line "Feel it, funk it / Amps in the trunk/ And I got more rhymes than there's cops that are dunkin. " It's hard to imagine it's in reference to anything else.
        • During the music video for "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys, a scene during the middle break shows the cops stopping for donuts.
        • Ice Cube's song "Say Hi To The Bad Guy" has a particularly dark take on this trope.
        • The music video for the song "Stylo" by Gorillaz features a donut munching cop giving chase to a speeding car driven by the band members. To be fair, the only reason he stops was because Cyborg Noodle was popping shotgun shells into his police car and causing it to crash through a billboard. Said cop gets taken away by the Boogeyman to hell before he could reach for a nearby box of donuts.
        • A concert poster for the band Cop Shoot Cop depicts two policemen dueling over the last doughnut.
        • Ben Folds' song "Rent a Cop" mentions whispering lewd comments about women through his doughnut.
        • In the music video for The Smashing Pumpkins' "1979", the teens messing around in the convenience store stop when two cops walk in. They buy some donuts, and leave, after which the real mischief begins.
        • In "Jump Around" by House of Pain, Everlast claims to have "more rhymes than there's cops at a Dunkin' Donuts shop."
        • "Gimme the Loot" by The Notorious B.I.G. has this gem of a lyric.
        • According to Scott Adams, one Dilbert strip he wrote featured Dogbert with a cop who would shoot a victim who was conveniently off-panel. The syndicate didn't like it, saying it was too violent. Adams rewrote the strip so the center panel would be replaced with "BANG BANG BANG" instead of the cop shooting. This didn't work, as it wasn't the act of shooting but the image of the cop holding the gun that was too violent. The published strip featured the cop holding a donut and shooting bullets out of that, giving rise to the term "Dangerous Donuts".
        • Garfield: Two cops seeing Jon, Garfield and Odie's antics.
        • In The Getaway: High Speed II, the second ball is locked by having the player pull up to Donut Heaven, where Car 504 happens to be taking a break.
          • There's even a secret Mania Mode that can be invoked when three cop cars are present.
          • Gabriel Iglesias was once pulled over by a cop in a Krispy Kreme parking lot for exiting the wrong way (in his haste to get home and eat up). The policeman asked the obligatory "You know why I pulled you over?" He felt compelled to answer, "Yeah man, 'cause you could smell it!" The cop got enough of a kick out of that to let him off with a warning.
            • Another time he was pulled over by a cop who happened to be a big fan. The excited cop said "Wait 'til I tell everyone I met you! This is even better than the time a buddy of mine pulled over this fat guy who gave him donuts!"
            • The C.L.U.E. Foundation has featured this trope, at least once, killing a particularly stupid Shadowrun player.
            • One "sloth" fool in Kitsune: Of Foxes and Fools is the "Doughboy Cop".
            • Sheriff Sugarfeet from Transformers: BotBotsis a living donut herself. Her stealth is unfortunately hindered by the trail of powdered sugar she leaves behind her, however.
            • The zombie cop figure from ToyBiz's Resident Evil 2 action figure line is clutching a donut (the figure's sculpt was reused, scaled up with significant changes, for the cop who comes with the Sabretooth figure in ToyBiz's X-Men line, donut and all).
            • In the first Gabriel Knight game, there are a few police officers (such as the Desk Sergeant) who have quite a taste for beignets (New Orleans' equivalent to donuts).
            • Grand Theft Auto
              • ''Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas has a few examples.
                • During the mission "Reuniting the Families", two bike cops drop their snack to join the chase. The camera focuses on the ground where the donuts drop.
                • Also, the first two C.R.A.S.H. missions have you meeting the dirty cops of the unit at the only donut joint in Downtown, Jim's Sticky Ring. The first mission's cutscene actually features the fully rendered inside of the shop note it's not an accessible restaurand during gameplay .
                • And sometimes if a fat CJ is arrested:
                • In the expansion Blue Shift you play as a security guard not quite a police officer, but close enough. At the beginning of the game, where you can wander around some areas of the complex for a bit before all hell breaks loose, one of the scientist NPCs might say "Why are you standing around? Shouldn't you be guarding some coffee and doughnuts right about now?"
                • Before that, you're required to go to the gun range to pick up your sidearm. In the range are two fellow security guards: a regular "Barney" guard near the entrance, using the range for its intended purpose, and a fat "Otis" one way in the opposite corner, hiding there to eat a donut.
                • If you don't leave the donuts and knock, the FBI agents will eventually steal them from the catering truck on their own.
                • A small lampshade hanging also occurs if you hide at the side of the van, you see a pair of feet below the vans backdoors and hear "Ooooh donuts! Nice. Full disclosure: We're actually FBI".
                • Absolution plays it straight by having one of the ways the player can make a cop disguise more convincing to the NPCs is to eat donuts out of a box left laying around. The scene is spoofed by Harry Partridge in this animation where our Master of Disguise is not the cop, but one of the donuts!
                • A rather sickening variation exists in the same game. Throwing a doughnut on the floor and then peeing on it will produce a contaminated doughnut which you can pick back up. These get lumped in with the rest of the doughnuts in your inventory and look no different than normal doughnuts. If contaminated doughnuts have a cop happen across them. well, Vomit Indiscretion Shot ensues.
                • Also, finding and putting on a cop uniform causes the Postal Dude to say "Someone stole my donuts, and now you're all going to pay!".
                • One of the missions has Tony wanting to buy a donut shop. The owner agrees to sell, but only if he can get rid of the cops who are always trying to get free donuts and coffee from him. Tony hijacks a police car and leads them on a chase that proves lethal for the cops.
                • In the original game, open road tracks disable traffic and cops in multiplayer and tournament modes due to hardware limitations. The manual handwaves this by stating that the cops are all resting in the donut shop.
                • One of the pursuit breakers in Need for Speed: Most Wanted (2005) is at a donut shop, and running over the supports will have the giant donut fall on any cop cars chasing you.
                • Near the beginning of the "Disorient Express" chapter, Dooley makes several attempts to persuade McQueen that they should blow the case off and head back to the precinct house before they miss out on a free donut offer.
                • In the "Police Farce" chapter, the whiteboard in the briefing room of the precinct house is covered in writing that proves on closer inspection to be the donut and coffee rota.
                • Also invoked in one of the bios for the same game, in the remastered version. The bio for Kev Portly mentions that he joined the police force specifically because he loves donuts and knows that cops eat donuts.
                • In the trailer for the cancelled Sly Cooper film, the Cooper Gang try to steal donuts when Murray begs for some. But when the donut store closes. Sly steals donuts from cops, causing them to get chased. Bentley yells "Why can't we just order pizza like normal people?"
                • Among the hints to Sheriff Gorou’s favorite snack in Epithet Erased: He wears a donut bolo tie, carries pistols with decorative donut handles, and keeps an open dozen on his desk. We would also say his beard is full of sprinkles, but according to an eyecatch it’s actually made of sprinkles perpetually stuck to his face.
                • Here Is A Question had this happen when Reno got arrested for murder and learned she got her potential sentence bumped up from five years to twenty-five&loz.
                • Can You Spare a Quarter?: Graham remarks on the association between police and doughnuts when he sees a police member consuming one in a hospital.
                • In the Rick and Morty episode "Rick Potion #9", several donuts can be seen on the ground next to the dead policeman when Jerry grabs his rifle.
                • Chief Wiggum in The Simpsons. But, then again, Donuts are popular with other characters as well. Still, he's the only one who threatened someone with violence because of some donuts that fell on the sewer.
                  • In Treehouse of Horror IV episode, Homer - due to an encounter with The Devil - has his head turned into a four-foot-wide donut. As a result,the Springfield Police Department lays siege to his house, cups of coffee in hand, waiting for him to emerge.
                  • Wiggum is also known to eat a stack of donuts off his gun, often without the safety on.
                  • When Homer wants to find a fancy donut cart all he does is call 911 and the police promptly call out a massive search complete with helicopters. Once they find it and the donuts are already sold out Wiggum pulls out his gun and threatens the owner.
                  • In the episode where Marge becomes a cop, she's seen having coffee and a donut for breakfast while her family eats more regular breakfast fare. Marge, is, however, much more competent than the usual Springfield policeman.
                  • In the Springfield's Most Wanted special, every desk has a box of donuts.
                  • A cop show about the Springfield Police has Snake Jailbird escape their attempted arrest by car, taunting "Close but no donut!"
                  • Mayor Quimby once called Wiggum a "talking tub of donut batter" during an argument.
                  • The episode "Cop Out" has Mike Brickowski, a fat and lazy cop sitting in his patrol car eating donuts and bragging about what a great cop he is while his partner is across the street foiling a bank robbery. On the way back to the station, he got donuts from practically every donut shop he found, including one that also sells chinese food. And he's still eating donuts back at the station when Da Chief gives him the Turn in Your Badge speech. Brikowski then hands over his gun, which Da Chief tells him to keep as a "souvenir". and asks for his donut instead, because he's hungry for one himself.
                  • The Movie has the cops portrayed in a ''bad'' light. Before the girls came along, crime was rampant, and we see the reason. during every crime, the policemen were always at the DONUT SHOP.
                  • Harvey Bullock's love of donuts goes without saying. There's one scene early in the show's run, in "Pretty Poison", where most of the police rush out of headquarters in response to some emergency and he lingers to grab one. Twice.
                  • Also, "Sins of the Father", Tim Drake's origin story, begins with him stealing a whole box of them from an elderly cop, then using them as improvised weapons against Two-Face's thugs.
                  • The short "A Cop and his Donut" revolved around a cop who's partners with a talking donut.
                  • The Dan Danger Show referenced this trope and lampshaded how cliche it was in the short "A Date with Danger", where the dinner Dan ordered on his date with a female police officer turned out to be donuts and Dan remarks that he knew cops like donuts because that's what he heard from washed-up comedians.
                  • Alluded to in the Transformers: Rescue Bots episode "One for the Ages", where Myles expresses his frustration at him and his brother Evan getting caught by Chase by sarcastically asking if there isn't a robot donut shop around.
                  • The trope is referenced once more in the Sequel SeriesTransformers: Rescue Bots Academy, where the episode "Museum Mystery" has Chase invite Whirl to a police ride-along and Whirl offers to get the donuts. Humorously, neither Whirl nor Chase even know what donuts are, the latter guessing that they are some kind of puffy cookie.
                  • In the first part of the two-part episode "The Case of C.O.P.S. File #1", Mace is shown biting into a donut and tossing it away before apprehending a pair of criminals.
                  • The episode "The Case of the Baby Bad Guys" has Longarm remark that he needs to cut back on the donuts when his attempt to arrest Small Guy is thwarted by the diminutive crook escaping through a hole in a fence that Longarm is too big to go through.
                  • "Bad Cop, No Donut" adorns many a T-Shirt of anti-authority youth and is the name of an anti-police subreddit.
                    • This also exists as a bumper sticker, popular on pickup truck rear windows, where a cop can't not see it.
                    • They also make ones that say "Police Headquarters" in the orange-and-pink Dunkin' Donuts logo font.
                    • Amusing subversion in a few of Detroit's nicer suburbs (Birmingham, Bloomfield Hills): the cops all hang at Starbucks, despite the presence of several Dunkin' Donuts and Tim Horton's within the city limits or the next suburb over.
                    • It's also worth noting that, traditionally, Dunkin' Donuts had a reputation for having just about the awesomest coffee in the universe, even if you weren't buying any donuts. Granted, that may be less true these days since specialty coffee shops have become so popular.
                    • Helsinki, Finland has a similar joke referring to an ABC gas station which happens to be one of the few such places open 24/7 in the downtown. As a result, it's the go-to place for downtown police officers and also patrol security guards in the area. They provide free coffee for both.
                    • In urban Britain, lacking widely available doughnut shops note there's a handful of Krispy Kreme franchises, but that's about it , the police generally make do with kebabs or other greasy fried food from late-night takeaways. In rural Britain they have to make do with a flask of tea and a packet of sandwiches from home because nowhere's open past 11PM.
                    • Instead of paying for security, Tim Horton's offers free menu items to members of Law Enforcement, encouraging police to frequent timmies.
                    • Meanwhile, Filipino cops prefer hanging out at panciterias (Chinese-style noodle houses).
                    • In Sweden, police are stereotyped as obsessed with the local gatukök (literally "street kitchen", think somewhere between a hot-dog stand and a fast food restaurant), and many of these will have a "police-meal" somewhere, though what that meal actually is varies according to region and the culinary preferences of local law enforcement.
                    • In Israel, the police are stereotyped as being crazy over shawarma.

                    Video Example(s):

                    He wanted Pizza Hut stuffed-crust pizza, four Burger King Whoppers, French fries, fried eggplant, fried squash, fried okra, a whole pecan pie, and three two-liter Pepsi bottles.

                    In 1979, Marion Albert Pruett was placed in a witness protection program after testifying about a murder in an Atlanta prison. But it was during that time he committed five murders. Pruett blamed his actions on a substance abuse problem yet denied the life-ending attack on his common-law wife, Pamela Sue Barker. Originally. the man considered ordering roast duck for his final meal, but for some unknown reason, he changed his mind.

                    Anniversary of a Mystery at Alcatraz

                    Behind their row of cells was a narrow, rarely used utility corridor for heating ducts and plumbing pipes. With spoons from a mess hall and a drill improvised from a vacuum cleaner, they dug through thick concrete walls, enlarging small, grille-covered air vents to squeeze through into the utility corridor. The work was concealed with cardboard and paint, and the noise by Mr. Morris’s evening accordion playing.

                    Some worked while others kept a lookout. With absences timed for the guard patrols, they created a secret workshop atop their cellblock. There, they created an inflatable raft of rubber raincoats held together with thread and contact cement, plywood paddles, plastic bags crudely turned into floating devices and dummy heads of plaster and toilet paper, made realistic with paint from prison art kits and hair clippings from the barbershop.

                    They stole a small accordion-like concertina from another inmate to serve as a bellows to inflate the raft. Finally, they climbed through the utility corridor and up a shaft of pipes and ducts to the roof, where they cut away most of the rivets holding a large ventilating fan and grille in place. Dabs of soap substituted for rivet heads — a little artistic touch, should anyone notice.

                    On the night of the escape, only one thing went wrong: Allen West, a fourth inmate who had planned to join them, had trouble opening the vent at the back of his cell — he had used cement to shore up crumbling concrete and it had hardened — and was left behind. He later gave investigators many details of the escape.

                    The others put their dummies to bed, retrieved the raft and other materials from atop the cellblock and climbed the ducts to the roof, where the fan-grille escape hatch had been prepared. In clear view of a gun tower, they stole across the roof, hauling their materials with them, then descended a 50-foot wall by sliding down a kitchen vent pipe to the ground. The wall was illuminated by a searchlight, but no one saw them.

                    They climbed two 12-foot, barbed-wire perimeter fences and went to the northeast shoreline — a blind spot out of range of the searchlights and gun towers — where they inflated their raft with the concertina. It was after 10 o’clock, investigators later estimated, when they shoved off. A dense fog cloaked the bay that night, and they disappeared into it.

                    The next day, searchers found remnants of the raincoat raft and paddles on Angel Island, two miles north of Alcatraz and just a mile from the Tiburon headlands of Marin County, north of San Francisco. They also found a plastic bag containing personal effects of the Anglins, including a money-order receipt and names, addresses and photos of friends and relatives. Emphasizing their belief that the escapees had drowned, officials said there had been no nearby robberies or car thefts on the night of the escape.

                    Alcatraz, an aging, 12-acre prison whose crumbling concrete and deteriorated plumbing had grown increasingly expensive to maintain, was closed in 1963 and later became a tourist attraction.

                    Mr. Morris and the Anglin brothers were officially declared dead in 1979, when the F.B.I. closed its books on the case. But it was reopened by the United States Marshal’s Service in 1993 after a former Alcatraz inmate, Thomas Kent, told Fox’s “America’s Most Wanted” that he had helped plan the breakout but had backed out because he could not swim.

                    Mr. Kent said Clarence Anglin’s girlfriend had agreed to meet them on shore and drive them to Mexico. Officials were skeptical because Mr. Kent had been paid $2,000 for the interview. Nevertheless, Dave Branham, a marshal’s service spokesman, said, “We think there is a possibility they are alive.”

                    The Eastwood film implied that the escape had been successful. A 2003 “MythBusters” program on the Discovery Channel tested the feasibility of an escape on a raincoat raft and judged it possible. And the 2011 National Geographic program disclosed that footprints leading away from the raft had been found on Angel Island, and that contrary to official denials, a car had been stolen nearby on the night of the escape.

                    Movie Night: D.E.B.S.

                    Welcome to Movie Night! Where we choose a movie based on any number of variables and feelings, create a themed menu to match, then spend the night eating these foods and watching these movies! It’s an uncomplicated but promising plan.

                    Attending this last-minute screening in Sydney were a handful of participants ranging from hardcore D.E.B.S. fans to reluctant/involuntary viewers, including my girlfriend, my flatmate, and Autostraddle readers Dina & Desiree.

                    All photos have been taken by Kate.

                    THE MOVIE

                    “Recruited by the U.S. government for their unique ability to lie, cheat and fight, Amy, Max, Janet and Dominique join an underground academy of secret agents known only as D.E.B.S. These crime fighting hotties set out to save the world and keep their lipstick perfectly applied while doing so. Now the girls must combine their skills for their most important mission- to capture vexing vixen Lucy Diamond, the deadliest criminal the world has ever known. When D.E.B.S. star player, Amy, falls for Lucy, chaos erupts and the D.E.B.S. loyalty is put to the test.”

                    I typically steer clear of movies that have “crime-fighting hotties” in Catholic schoolgirl uniforms gracing the front cover, however my adoration for Jordana Brewster (Lucy) compelled me to make an exception. And I’m glad, ’cause D.E.B.S. is now my all-time favorite piece of queer cinema.

                    Dina: Aren’t they supposed to be in college? Why are they wearing schoolgirl uniforms?
                    Kate: Um, because it’s hot.

                    “This is not the Girl Scouts, this is espionage!” – Mrs. Petrie

                    Everything about this movie is totally f*cking ridiculous, but that’s apparently how I like it. D.E.B.S. taught me many things about myself, including the fact that I’m never not in the mood to watch a smokin’ hot lesbian criminal mastermind break through a plaid-patterned force field to the tune of The Cure’s “Love Cats” in order to kidnap a straight super spy and whisk her away to an underground industrial nightclub so they can drink beer and subconsciously bite their bottom lips. To me that’s quality entertainment.

                    “Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you’re boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke? “Let’s divert federal resources and man hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style.” – Mrs Petrie

                    D.E.B.S. is written & directed by Angela Robinson, who has given us many good things such as the few bearable episodes of The L Word. The relatively PG-13 love affair between Amy and Lucy is super adorbs and all, but what makes this movie extra irresistible is the dialogue and scenes featuring Dominique, Janet, Scud, Mrs Petrie, and Ninotchka the assassin. If I could be any character in this film I’d wanna be one of the boys that Dominique kicks out of bed. You?

                    Kate: “Dominique doesn’t do laundry. Or French accents.”

                    THE MENU
                    3-Cheese Pastizzis Chargrilled Tofu Burgers with Sweet Potato Fries Tiramisu +

                    3-Cheese Pastizzis

                    Pastizzis, aka pastry crack, are not only on theme because of their puffy diamond shape, but they also happen to be my all-time favorite snack food. Win/win.

                    Ingredients (makes 24)
                    500 grams ricotta
                    1 cup shredded mozzarella
                    ½ cup grated parmesan
                    2x eggs, beaten
                    6 sheets of puff pastry (buy it or make it)
                    Salt and coarsely ground black pepper

                    Preheat your oven to 200 Celsius or 392 Fahrenheit. Put the ricotta, mozzarella and parmesan into a mixing bowl with half the egg. Mash it up while adding generous amounts of salt and pepper. If you want to kid yourself / others into believing that these are not 100% bad for you, throw in a few cups of spinach.
                    Cut the pastry sheets into 4x squares and add a heaped teaspoon of cheese filling and then fold in the sides, forming a diamond shape. Make sure there are no holes or shit will get leaky. Place onto a baking tray and brush with remaining egg, then bake for 20 – 25 minutes. Freeze any that you don’t bake.

                    Kate: “You know who could do with three kinds of cheese? Jordana Brewster.”

                    Chargrilled Tofu Burgers

                    Food only features once this film, and in that scene Amy orders tofu. Truly inspired foreshadowing right there.

                    Ingredients (serves 6)
                    350g pkt of firm tofu, cut into 6 slices
                    1 tbs olive oil
                    3 tbsp soy sauce
                    2 tbsp sweet chili sauce
                    1 tsp fresh ginger, grated
                    Bread of your choice, I suggest turkish or pannini
                    200g of baba ganoush (make it or buy it)
                    2x brown onions, cut into thin rings
                    2x cups of rocket (arugula)
                    2x roasted red capsicum (peppers) with skin removed and cut into thin strips (make it or buy it)

                    Marinate the tofu slices in the soy sauce, sweet chili and ginger. Stow in the fridge for at least an hour. Heat oil in a grill / bbq / frypan and throw on the onion rings until they’re brown. Take them out and cover with foil, then repeat the process using the capsicum. Lastly, cook the tofu slices for 2-3 minutes each side.

                    Toast both sides of the bread using your preferred method of toasting bread. Or leave it fresh! I totally left it fresh because I ran out of time. Spread the baba ganoush on both sides of the bread slices, then throw on the tofu, capsicum, onion and rocket. Serve with the sweet potato fries.


                    Janet: Everybody’s talking about it.

                    Amy: About what?

                    Janet: How you met Lucy and lived to tell about it. They’re calling you a hero, when really you’re a slut.

                    Amy: You shut up.

                    Janet: A gay slut.

                    Amy: I’m not gay!

                    Sweet Potato Fries

                    Sweet potato, any quantity you want
                    Coarse salt and pepper
                    Olive oil

                    Preheat the oven to 230 Celsius or 450 Fahrenheit. Decide how you feel about sweet potato skin and then peel or don’t peel the potatoes accordingly.

                    Cut the potato into ¾ inch strips and lay them out on a steel baking tray. Apply generous sprinkles of salt and pepper and then drizzle with olive oil. Warning: too much oil will cause them to go soggy. So will over-crowding the tray. I know this because it happened.

                    Bake the fries in the oven for 15 minutes. Turn them over. Bake for another 10 minutes. Eat.

                    Max: Who’s your best friend?
                    Amy: You are my best friend.
                    Max: And what did I say to you the very first day at the Academy?
                    Amy: “That’s my bunk, bitch.”
                    Max: After that.


                    I don’t like tiramisu, but it’s on tonight’s menu regardless because tiramisu allegedly means ‘pick me up’ in Italian, and I’m not one to let my palate stand in the way of something being funny. Consider this a tribute to the way that Lucy picked up Amy during the bank robbery, that was a hot scene. You know what wasn’t hot? The tiramisu, it was kinda spongey and wet. Everyone seemed to be really into that though. Lesbians.

                    Ingredients (serves 10)
                    2 cups of black coffee
                    3 eggs, separated
                    2x packets of salvoiardi (Italian sponge/ladyfingers)
                    ⅓ cup of caster sugar
                    250g mascarpone
                    300g thick cream
                    2-3 tbsp of an alcohol (optional), preferably marsala, Tia Maria, Baileys, brandy or rum
                    Cocoa, for dusting

                    Pour the coffee and marsala into a shallow dish. Set aside. Beat the egg yolks and sugar in a large bowl until they’re pale and thick. Add the mascarpone and whipped cream, and mix in until just combined. Beat the egg whites until soft peaks form and gently fold them into the mascarpone mixture.

                    Quickly dip each salvoiardi into the coffee & alcohol dish and start laying them on the base of a 19cm square dish, covering the whole surface. Then cover the biscuit layer with one-third of the mascarpone mixture. Repeat two times, finishing with a layer of mascarpone mix on top. This is a cold/unbaked dessert, so all you need to do is cover it with plastic wrap and stick it in the fridge for 2-3 hours. Then dust it with cocoa and serve!

                    Watch the video: Mission Impossible Bank Robbery - Masterminds - The Memorial Day Heist - Jerry Clement Documentary (September 2022).


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